Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Superheroes and the English Language

          I have written two different lists, this time, and they will both be included in this post, enjoy
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            For this first list. Have you ever wondered what the comics would be like if a lot of the comic book characters didn’t just naturally have a pre-destined love? What if Superman didn’t know Lois Lane? What if Spiderman didn’t know MJ  (Mary Jane)? And what if part of the comics were focused on our heroes trying to find a love interest? So have I. So now for your entertainment some superhero pick up lines.
SUPERHERO PICK-UP LINES
            Superman: Want to join the mile high club? Without a plane?
            Batman: I do some of my best work at night.
            Batman beyond: Once you go bat, you never go back.
            Green Lantern: Everybody is going green these days, I can show you why. (Give in to peer pressure!)
            Green arrow: These arrows aren’t just for shooting.
            Aquaman: I can get you wet! (His pick-up lines never work L)
            Daredevil: This staff/cane can do some amazing thing!
            Mr. Fantastic/Reed Richards: I can bend my body to be any shape you like. Are you SURE size doesn’t matter? (Bend me, shape me, anyway you want me!)
            Human Torch/Johnny Storm: I thought I was the hottest thing around here. FLAME OFF!
            Iron man: My armor isn’t the only part of me that’s hard as iron!
            Wolverine: Ha! Iron man might be hard as iron, but I’ve got Adamantium, ALL OVER and due to my healing factor some women have trouble keeping up with ME!
            Hulk: Hulk Smash!
            Groot: I am Groot!

If you are anything like me you may be aware that the English/American language is weird, you may have even read books about it, like me.  The only one I can recall right now is called Crazy English and I’m not sure if I made that title up or not.  Below I’m going to point out some more crazy things about our language that I don’t think I’ve seen in other books.

THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
            Log in and sign up can be used interchangeably, at least online. You can even say sign in, but it’s a bit weird when you say log up.
            Itsy-bitsy and teensy-weensy mean the same thing, but it’s weird to say itsy-weensy or teensy-bitsy.
            We have conflicting idioms, example: The early bird gets the worm and better late than never.
            (I have read this one but it’s too good to leave out.) Many things that have two of something connected are plural example: scissors, panties, boxers, pants, etc. (why aren’t bicycle, tricycle, and other such things plural?)
Some things that there are more than two have a singular word example: you would never say I got some hairs cut, you usually say I got a haircut. I’m sure there more examples of that but I can’t think any currently 
            There are many words where the plural is the same as the singular form, examples: look at the fish, look at that, the deer. Etc.


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