I usually try to keep my private life out of this blog but sometimes you need to let people into your world, let them know more of who you are. I prefer the world of fiction, overall, but there is always some point in our life when we might be driven to read some non-fiction for a change.
This post, while not revealing a lot, relates to something that happened to me just this year. Back in February the woman I was engaged to and I took a trial separation for eight weeks (which I'm told is the average). After that time I realized that my life was much better without her. There are a multitude of reason why we split-up but let me just say, to put it simply, she was manipulatative, uncompromising, she started bringing over more and more of her possessions (she's a hoarder) making our small place (a two-bedroom apartment that I share with my brother) cluttered and more crowded despite the protesting that came from various people. I could go on, but I think you get the basic idea, she was toxic. After I broke-up with her I struggled for a while, but my life is better without her in it. I learned a lot about myself from that relationship and wrote a short essay. I started this essay on April 21st then had two proof-readers (my older brother's girlfriend and my mother). And now, without further ado sit back and enjoy. . . .
WOMEN: CAN’T LIVE
WITH THEM, IS THERE LIFE WITHOUT THEM?
Is
there life without women? Well, that depends on a number of factors. First, how
analytical do you want to be? If you
want to be super analytical then the answer is no, without women the human race
would soon die out, as women would stop giving birth. Women would probably be
able to survive more easily without men, but men are still needed for their
sperm.
The next factor you need to consider
is whether you are a man or a woman. If
you are a woman you simply CANNOT live without women. You may be able to live without all women except
you, but that’s a lot of responsibility to put on yourself. Having to bear every man’s child is not easy,
eventually your tubes might need to be tied and then where would we be? It
kind of makes you wonder what Adam and Eve first did. If we believe that they were the only humans
created by God and there was a lot of inbreeding in the early days, no wonder
so many of us are fucked up.
However, I think the readers of this
paper understand that I’m not thinking of the above question in the analytical
form, but rather theoretically or metaphorically. Can a man get by without a woman in his
life? The simple answer is yes. After the
man has grown into an adult it is even easier.
It’s nice to have a mother and a father, if you’re parents are
homosexual it is fine to have two parents of the same sex, but I would think it
is also nice to be able to look at the world from both the male and female
point of view and if you have both a male and female in your home it is easier
than if you have to seek out a member of the other sex elsewhere. If you are a woman and have two fathers, you
would want to know another woman to compare yourself to, and if you are a man
with two mothers . . . same deal. Understand that this essay is very biased,
because I am a man who has been raised by a male and female set of
parents. I have no experience with being
raised by two parents of the same sex.
It is also seen from the point of view of a straight man. I am not homosexual or bi-curious. If I were gay I would imagine that it would
be EXTREMELY easy to get by without a woman. If you are straight, you can still get by
without women in your life, but it is a bit harder. I take that back, it is never easy to get by
without women, but it is sometimes more difficult for straight men who do not
have a girlfriend/fiancé/wife. who belongs to the other gender. Most men have a mother, a grandmother and/or
an aunt who they feel particularly close to. If they don’t, I would wager that
they have at least one person who they consider to be a mother figure. I understand that I might still be acting too analytical, but it’s
part of who I am. So I guess in the end,
the answer is actually no. There will
always be women in our lives, women we revere, women we admire, women we hate,
and women we might wish we were dating or married to. However, a wife or girlfriend is not
essential to happiness. Happiness is not a state of all your affairs being in
order, it is a choice. True, it’s not
always an easy state to reach, but it is possible. Once you learn to be happy with who you are
and where you currently are in life, people usually recognize that and are
drawn to you. Things will start to fall
into place. If you go out trying to make
things happen, your desires might be
met, but you have to be cautious because sometimes you give up too much to reach
those wants and needs. Just put your trust in a higher power and carry on with
your life. Eventually there should be a
light at the end of the tunnel and a revelation where you say to yourself “Aha! So that’s why I had to wait so long for
X to happen,” or “I now understand
why I had to achieve Y before X would be met.” I grant you that things don’t ALWAYS make
sense, but in the end I think you’ll find that there is a logic to most of your
life. I recently got out of a bad relationship,
but that relationship has helped me clarify what I want and DON’T want in my
next girlfriend. Before I only had a
list of what I did want and because of that nearly every girl met my needs and
desires . . . in my mind. Now that I
also know what I don’t want I can see why I did not get to date some of the
girls that I wanted to date. Ultimately I would have been dissatisfied, used,
or led into a bad relationship without even realizing it.
