Is she the one?

Using my many years of experience (almost 34) I’ve learned a lot. And, as such, I have compiled a handy list of ways to tell that the woman you think you are in love with is not the one for you. Warning: Some of this will seem strangely specific. Please keep in mind this is not the list to end all lists, and there are exceptions to every rule, these are just MY opinions

HOW TO TELL THEY AREN’T THE ONE FOR YOU.

(WRITTEN BY A MAN).

            If you don’t know her full name.  “Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.”-Woody Allen

            If she is living in your house with you and it starts to look like she was the only one who lived there. Especially if she doesn’t REALLY help with the expenses, bills, rent (if applicable), etc.

            She does her best to avoid you at all costs.

            She hears what she wants to hear. Not selective hearing, worse than that. She says that she has said stuff, or that stuff has been said, but you, and others, are sure she never said any such thing.

            She’s a master manipulator. (Some manipulation might be fine, but you have to take a step back and see how you have changed.)

            You are kept busy beyond reason so you don’t really have the TIME to think. What is she running from? It can always be beneficial to get some time away and examine your thoughts.

            She openly tells you, repeatedly “I hate you. No, I don’t want to date you. Get it through your brain. I despise you with every fiber of my being.”

            You are her significant other, but she discusses a threesome with someone else before approaching you with it. You are the last one she suggests it to.

            She tells you she enjoys cooking, but after a while she STOPS cooking, just out of the blue, even though she knows you enjoy her cooking.

            She never is able to make time for you, especially if she makes up ridiculous reasons why she is busy, “Yeah I have to build a new aquarium out of logs for my pet cat. I don’t know why but she seems to LOVE water.”

            She hates you.

            She is a pathological liar.

            She is dependent on you to make her happy and says that being in your company is the only time(s), she is truly happy. (I want my other to be happy, but I don’t want her to depend on me for her happiness. That can really wear on you after a while.)

            You have never seen her.

            She is imaginary.

            She doesn’t exist.

            She is actually a he (unless you’re into that.)

            She cheats on you regularly.

            She is a terrible person.

            She is everything you despise,

            You hate her

And above all, if you had to abduct her, against her will, to spend any time with her, then, I’m sorry, but she is NOT the one for you.