a flawed story

                I rarely let any pessimism show online. After all, who wants to read negativity? We have enough of our own problems to deal with why compound them with someone else’s problems? While that may be true I had to get this off my chest.

Alexa/the Echo Dot is not a professional story teller!

            Let me go beyond that and say that she’s not even a good story teller. Now some of you may be laughing, thinking We already knew that she’s a computer and she was MADE to be an assistant and the hope is that she will make out lives easier.  Others of you might be thinking, Wait, my Echo Dot can tell stories?

            Yes “she” can. Just ask her to tell you a story. Lately, Amazon has a thing going on where every day you can ask “her” to open you gift and “she” will give you a small gift. Today her gift was a story. Which brings us to the topic of this post.

Now keep in mind, I’m not claiming to be a professional story teller and I’m well aware that you can always say ‘this is what I would have done. However, if I can see these problems a better story teller would have probably pointed out these flaws as well. The story is titled “Sharing Season”  which gives away the ending but there’s more. The story is about a dog and cat waiting for some food from the Christmas feast to fall on the ground, when a meatball rolls right in between the two of them. I would have mentioned that part of the Christmas feast was spaghetti and meatballs, just to add a bit of tension. The cat pounces on the meatball and snickers “you snooze you lose” I would say the cat hisses “you snooze you lose” or something. Then the dog starts to whimper and bark. The family wonders what’s going on and see the dog, right after the cat rolls the meatball over to the dog to “frame” him? The meatball rolled onto the floor AND it is not bitten into. That is not a very successful framing job. The father says that they should let the dog keep it and the dog snickers at the cat. The cat ignores him but then the dog feels guilty and “growls ‘oh just take it’ ‘Really? ‘meows the cat’. Then the cat says “Wait, I have an idea” and the father says look under the table and the see two of them are sharing it. “’this is nice ‘the dog says. ‘Yes’ the cat purred, ‘but don’t get used to it.’”

I agree it’s a cute story but if you keep the titled in mind you know the dog and cat will end up sharing the meatball. The cat meows and purrs while the dog whimpers and barks. Is this author against dogs does the author even have a dog or a cat? The cat could have hissed instead of snickered as it pounced on the meatball. The dog can pant while speaking. The cat seems to show joy more than the dog. At the end the author could have said, “’This is nice’” the dog says WHILE WAGGING HIS TAIL”

In conclusion I would have change the title, so the ending isn’t so predictable, maybe “the dog or the cat?” or something. I would have mentioned the spaghetti and meatballs dish before a meatball rolls on the floor, just to add a little tension. I would have given the dog and a few more animal-like actions (you never see any real “innocent” happiness from the dog) and, minor point, I was hoping the cat was going to slice the meatball in half with “her” (?) claws  Just some gripes I have and ideas to improve this short story and any future stories others may wish to write. I might forget these tips, but I’m not a professional story teller either.