A ghost story?

            I’ve had this story idea for a while, but hadn’t written it down yet. It is told from Alex’s point-of-view, one of my favorite characters. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing these stories. (As always, constructive criticism is appreciated!)

MY HOUSE IS HAUNTED.

            I had just moved into a new home.  My first time living on my own and I was excited and scared at the same time.  The what ifs all kept flying through my mind.  You know what I’m talking about. What if I forgot something? What if the house burns down?  What if my friends don’t want to visit me because they don’t like this house as much as the old one?  What if the house transforms into the Sarlaac pit and slowly digests me over the next thousand plus years?  What if? What if? What if?

I shared my fears with some of my closest friends and, after a lot of reassurances and comforting words, I finally felt secure enough to at least try three days in this new house.  The first night in the house went quite well.  I didn’t need anyone to check under the bed for monsters and I slept like a log. Understand that I didn’t really sleep like a log. I was indoors, I wasn’t in a fireplace, and I was an animate object the whole night, at least as far as I could tell. When I say I slept like a log I mean that I slept the whole night and woke up feeling quite rested.  After living there for three days I was satisfied and decided that maybe living alone wasn’t so bad.  After a few calls I got satellite, internet and a few other things installed that would be helpful in the long run.  That was when the trouble started. (Who didn’t see that coming? Often enough, when life seems perfect, you get thrown a curveball. Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?)

            The first time I heard it I was in on the couch just minding my own business as I watched my favorite cartoon.  Then, out of nowhere, I heard it, a high pitched noise that lasted for about 2 seconds and then stopped.  I figured that was it, but then it happened again.  It went on this way for a while, I had to use two throw pillows, one to either side of my head, to drown it out.  When it finally stopped for more than a minute or two I was relieved I figured that was the end of it. I was wrong.  I started hearing this noise day or night with no rhyme or reason.  I was convinced I had a rare kind of ghost in my house.  I ghost who has a very high voice and loved to roll its Rs or something.  Possibly the ghost thought it was singing, but this “song” was very annoying and only had two quick alternating tones.

 Finally, one day I found out where the noise was coming from a white device in my kitchen.  I noticed if I took it apart the ghost would stop singing.  However, if I listened carefully I could hear a new voice emanating from the device.  And if left alone too long a ghost with a deeper voice would sing its own song for a little while.  The weirdest part of all, I never heard them singing at the same time.  They both seemed to enjoy singing, just not together.  On the third day of this I decided enough was enough and I took out my cell phone to call Max, my closest friend. 

“Hello?” he asked, as he always does when answering his cell.  I don’t know why, my name should have shown clearly on his screen.

“Max, it’s Alex, “I told him, “and I need your help. My house is haunted.”

“Alex, do you know what time it is?”

“Hold on, let me check,” I walked over to my clock, “It’s 2:37 am” I replied.

“Alex why are you calling me in the middle of the night”

“It’s not the middle of the night, it’s very early morning”

Max let out a groan and muttered, “Do you always have to be so infuriatingly literal” Then in his normal voice he asked “Can this wait until normal people are awake, please?”

“I guess” I said with a sigh, “what time would that be?”

“I’ll call you” he said simply.

Later that day, instead of calling, Max just came over, “Ok Alex why do you say your house is haunted?” He asked after walking in.

            “There’s an object in the kitchen and it makes strange noises” I explained.

            “Show me this object,” he said, “I might know how to fix this ‘ghost’ problem” making air quotes when he said ghost.

            I took him to the kitchen and slowly walked over to the white object that had been torturing me day and night. Max looked at it and he started laughing like it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

            “That’s . . . your possessed . . . item?” he asked in between laughs.

            I explained everything it had been doing as a result of its possession.

            “Alex, that is a phone. Before cell phones there where things known as 'home phones', when that high voice is ‘singing’ that’s the phone ringing. That low voiced ghost is letting you know that you have left the phone off the hook”

            Max patiently, well patiently for him, showed me how to use this phone.  I was relieved to know that my house wasn’t haunted.  Now if I can just figure out why my bathroom mirror keeps fogging up whenever I take a shower . . .